Thank you Jennifer. Thank you dear, brave, vulnerable, fierce, wise, disciplined, soul for showing up here with your whole self. It is of no surprise to me that you would be the first person to break the seal on vulnerability here on our new community gathering space thus instantaneously making it a place where people can arrive in their wholeness, shadow and light and everything in-between, without feeling like they need to pass some sort of bullshit-patriarchal-purity-test that only benefits the current power structure of white supremacy and the patriarchy. With this post you have served our entire community. I love you even more because I know you even better. We need to pull the curtain back in order to create authentic, lasting connection and community that is in service to healing and love.
What my teachers have taught me is this-- healing begins when we begin to embody our authentic wholeness and practice fierce honesty with ourselves. And, can that honesty arise from place of deep love and curiosity rather than judgment and fear? It takes deep wisdom and dedication to be on the path of healing. You are in it sister. I am so proud of you for choosing you. Healing is possible at any moment, and you are living proof. Reading this story had me weeping in my bed this morning. Thank you. That's the good stuff in life, when we are so moved we weep. Tears are always a signal to sit up and pay attention. This is important. Don't miss this!!
Sam is right. The light that you see in me is your light reflected back at you. It's the good kind of projection. That's my job as a teacher and guide on this path, to shine the light. It's interesting you brought up my daughter, as it was her light that first helped me to even admit that I might have spirit inside me--guiding me, working with me, collaborating on this beautiful art project of a life. She was my first yoga teacher, in this way. I saw the God in her and she helped me see the God in me. The second job of the guide on this path is to help you trust that that light within you is something that you can never fuck with. It is in you always. You have access to it at any moment, it is your birth rite to return to this source of love again and again. And that is how we save our own lives. Returning to love, again and again, especially when it feels like we've burned the whole thing down. We need our teachers and guides to help us understand how to build resilience and a strong scaffolding inside of us, but ultimately, you build it yourself, my love. No one can build it for you. Jessica and I are simply here to empower you to do so. Science tells us that we build resilience by doing hard things, and you my dear have done hard things. YOU!! JENNIFER!!! YOU ARE HEALING YOU!!! YAY!!!
Spirit moves through people. I believe that spirit whispered in your ear that day, "Go to this yoga class, Jennifer," and that you trusted your inner wisdom enough to show up. And spirit whispered in my ear, "Tell the story of Veda, talk about your dream," and I trusted my inner wisdom enough to speak it. I'm proud of both of us because there were times when I did not even know that my inner wisdom existed, let alone listened to it. What a beautiful magic that happened that day because two women listened to their inner wisdom. More of this please, life.
And...I am so grateful I got to meet your son, even though I burst into tears in front of him and perhaps gave him a strange first impression of your teacher. I love the guts out of you. I'm here. We can talk more. This is big stuff.